


Musing

by jinny_meo



Category: Komatta Toki ni wa Hoshi ni Kike!
Genre: Character Study, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mushy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinny_meo/pseuds/jinny_meo
Summary: Some musing from Kiyomine. I write this while re-reading this series for the n-times. Started in some short ficlet but may get longer.Can be viewed as character's analysis.
Relationships: Fujishima Takara/Hosaka Kiyomine
Kudos: 11





	Musing

The first time Kiyomine had sex, it was in his third junior year, and it was just indifferent. 

His so-called girlfriend at that time, an older woman's image all blurred in his mind now, drove him to one love hotel and taught him sex there. Together they got through the first fumbling and after the main act passed, he got up to light a cigarette, looking over the cloudy sky from the foggy hotel window. 

At the tender age of 14, he shouldn't have had expected much of it, but secretly, he had hoped. Hoping the sensation of another body beside him would warm the hole in his heart, hoping that, by merely being around and sleeping with these old women, they could bring him closer to the adult's world, Ayako's world. No such luck. 

At the end of that act, he just felt empty inside. After the moment of heat, of body rushing against each other, and of intimate embrace, all he had left was the empty feeling behind, tiredness deep in his bone and the ache, the longing inside his heart. For what? He didn't know at that time. Maybe hoping to reach Ayako's world and always by her side, watching her back. 

His side got strangely cold and lonely like there was supposed someone to be there. But that thought got pushed back deep in the furthest corner of his mind. He didn't need someone but Ayako. 

He accepted when she suggested the second round. 

__________________

After that, he met Yukari-san. She was a strong, beautiful, independent woman, whose heart got broken by some bastard she once worked with. Not that he actively asked for the detail. But she was heartbroken, and he was lost, so lost after all these years of spending beside Ayako and suddenly got ripped off her. So it's only natural for them to comfort each other, her words. 

Yukari-san was fun, strong-willed, and had life of her own. She didn't insist him to call or demand any comfort outside the physical one from him. She didn't demand to call him "Kiyomine" and was satisfied with "Hosaka". 

So it was okay. Sex with Yukari-san was not so boring as all his previous female partners. But it seemed only to make both of them lonelier. Yukari-san understood that, because after each time, they would stay in bed and smoke cigarettes together, eyes looking for a faraway land. Kiyomine often went to the boxing club the day later to let some of the frustration steam off. 

Maybe his life was supposed to be that way. Maybe he was dysfunctional and life would always be lonely like that. 

He still went to Yukari-san's place twice a week.

__________________

For being such a big part of his junior high life, sex seemed to disappear since he entered high school. Especially after meeting and being roommate with that Shorty. With him in his life, Kiyomine couldn't get bored at all. At the end of the day, all energy he had was spent and he went to sleep at 11 p.m, following Takara's sleep schedule. 

Life was getting better, more colorful than he ever knew and for once in his life, Kiyomine didn't rush to grow up. He adjusted to his position in life, looming over Shorty and always looking out for Ayako. It was not bad. 

He didn't want to look closely at that, choosing to let his instinct took over the board. It made the aching ceased, and the hole in his heart filled to the brims when he woke up and saw that brat safely tucked up under his chin. 

Somehow, this innocent sleeping arrangement felt more intimate than all the sex he has had so far. But it calmed his beast, so it's working. 


End file.
